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The words of Dr Jordan B Peterson in the video "The People Who Are Not Listening Stop Talking to Them" Technononk, (2022)., is the perfect response to the quote by George Bernard Shaw, "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place". 

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Inattentiveness has become prevalent in today's society, with more distractions than ever blocking communication at it's conception.  Noise cancelling headphones signal unavailability.  Smart phones are the object of attention making personal conversations rare and brief.  These hand held devices are a constant dismissal of verbal prioritization, even when meeting others face to face.  

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As a professional in the human services field, this concerns me a great deal.  Young people, children and even babies are having less opportunities for connection and receive less eye-contact, and this is at the detriment of their cognitive development, language development, social-emotional development and mental health.  Humans are social beings who need connection to understand and to be understood.

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This may be a significant contributor to emotional dysregulation for many young people in current day society.  Dr Peterson's advice to "take a step back and watch them instead, they will tell you what they are up to" is solid advice for Child and Youth Care Professionals.  Being mindful that many young people are not proficient in attending in conversation provides a window for observing non-verbal cues, noticing what they are watching on their devices, or asking what music they are listening to.  This provides insight into what the young person values in that moment and is the perfect start to a conversation.

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Doctor Peterson gives more solid advice when he states "the ones who aren't listening, pull back because you are devaluing what you have to say by offering it to an audience who does nothing but reject it".  I am sure this resonates with most adults who parent teenagers!  Young people shut down when they feel they are being nagged and this becomes exhausting for everybody!  One of the most valuable lessons I have learnt as my children have matured is not to be more invested in their life progression than they are.  Unless a human being is intrinsically motivated to progress, there is no true benefit from forcing them.  Creating relative programming in Child and Youth Care Counselling requires careful consideration of the interests and values of our clients.  Life skills are successfully acquired when engaging in something of value.  

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Furthermore, Dr Peterson recommends that  "if you have things to say, say them but find people who will listen, and talk to them".  Once connection has been established and a rapport has been built, then is the time to deliver the message.  This is how I commit to nurture self discovery from the inside out.

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Sharon.

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